While I was going through some pictures on my laptop, I stumbled upon a photo album that was dated Summer 2017. This time last year was bittersweet for me so I cautiously opened it up. As I scrolled the items, I smiled a bit as it brought me back to a place of contentment. If my memory serves me right it was the first outfit post I ever did for my old blog website. I thought I’d share it here in the form of a post. A little throwback don’t hurt anyone right? 🙂 By the way, yes that’s me in the pictures. Yes I had short hair with shaved sides. I’m in the process of growing out my hair now, and I currently wear faux locs (naturalistas will know the struggle). Just thought I’d add that info so when you see a recent post of me, you don’t become entirely confused. Until next time. Xoxo.
Primarily I wanted my blog space to be about fashion and lifestyle, but based on how life is set up at the moment, I have a lot weighing on my mind which I’ve decided to share here and now on this platform. Ever since I was a young girl, I was a loner. I still am. I know my parents never understood it one bit, but they allowed me to live in my own world for a good part of my childhood and even into my teenager years.
I stuck to myself for the most part and had a few friends and that worked out for me. I found superficial conversations with people I wasn’t close to a waste of my time and that resulted in my circle being super small and intimate. Being much older now, especially that I’ve passed my 30th milestone in my life, I’ve made it my duty to keep my squad close. Or so I thought.
The two qualities that I admire most about people are their honesty and loyalty. I don’t need people around me to make me feel good or even make me laugh (I can do both), but one thing for certain is that I hate liars and people who don’t go hard for me as I do for them. In past “friendships” I’ve had, and I do emphasize had because they no longer exist, I found that these “friends” only friended me because we had a mutual friend or because they wanted something. As quickly as I realized this, these individuals would never hear from or see me again. It may sound harsh but it makes no sense wasting one’s time faking relationships that aren’t fulfilling.
So you must be wondering what really prompted this post. It’s mainly due to disappointment. The disappointment I currently feel because of someone I considered my closest friend. This person knows almost everything about me. Come to find out, this person hasn’t been living the life I thought they were. This betrayal has hurt me to my core and it won’t be easy to get over, especially because I thought this was my solid, straight-laced strong friend. I’ve always said that nothing surprises me anymore and it still stands. However, the revelation has brought a sorrow to my soul that will take some time to mend.
Hell, no one is perfect and I probably won’t be as harsh as I have in past situations, but I do know I will look at this person through different eyes. I really thought I knew this person and all their parts, but surely I was wrong. I say this to say, never be too sure of anything or anyone and just hope for the best. Life will throw you curveballs that you won’t expect and that’s fine. Those are the elements that makes us grow and garner lessons from them. Eventually, even if we don’t forget, we will have time to heal.
Until next time. Xoxo.